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Another week spent in San Jose/San Francisco. Twelve-hour days. The usual.

Upon returning and collapsing across the bed, a text message arrives from a friend from Reno:

Giants tickets tomorrow night! 1st pitch 6:05pm

Of course.

Saturday night now and I am awake. I’ve not caught up on my sleep. There was a nap earlier today, of suitable length, but it appears to have done me in on this sleeping business. Felicia is asleep. Oscar is asleep beside me on the couch. Gabby is asleep on a pair of Felicia’s pants. Whole apartment dark except for the dimmest setting on the living room lamp. Sitting here, brain in a loop that will solve itself momentarily, I’m sure:

you’re awake?
yes. do i write?
you’re awake, idiot. of course you write.
but there are video games to be played.
you do not play video games at night while felicia is sleeping.
but i have headphones.
your thumbs will make furious clicky-tappy noises on that controller.
i will clicky-tap quietly.
you should write.
but writing means lots and lots of clicky-tappiness.
yes, so?
i thought you–
she can tell the difference between creative clicky-tap and timesuck clicky-tap.
asleep?
her intuition grows in power as she sleeps.
damn. so i should write?
you should write.
i guess i’ll write.
good. wait, not on your web site, you retard.
bwaha!

I am wearing the headphones, though. Mostly because a few minutes ago I was watching some little video clips that arrived in my work inbox. Also because they make my ears feel safe.

you don’t check your work mail on the weekend, retard.
yes. yes, i do.
oh.

These headphones are inexpensive, I think. After I am finished watching the video clips, I realize that I can hear externalized sounds amplified in my ears. I can hear the sounds of Felicia breathing as she sleeps. I take the headphones off. Not a sound in the apartment. I put them on again. I can hear the sounds of the television upstairs. I take them off. Silence.

Magical damn headphones. But they keep my ears warm. So I wear them, and listen to some music to drown out the noisy world. Song that spins up is Springsteen — it’s a Springsteen-only playlist, sort of the theme for this book, I guess — and it’s this haunting track that I remember first hearing as it played over the closing credits of John Sayles’s movie Limbo. The song is called “Lift Me Up”. I think I may just loop this one awhile.

time to write now?
shut up already.
that’s more like it.




deeplyshallow is
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movie & tv reviews

Iron Man
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
There Will Be Blood
Gone, Baby, Gone
Live Free or Die Hard
The Indian Runner
The Iron Giant
Contact
An Inconvenient Truth
X-Men: The Last Stand
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Elizabethtown
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My DVD collection

eleanor

01. dreaming of falling
02. marvelous descent
03. a conversation
04. the colors
05. huffnagle island
06. a hundred million
07. sixty-six stories
08. anyone earthbound
09. a girl named eleanor
10. a route obscure and lonely
11. a certain stillness
12. this is jack
13. wide flat lands
14. going home
15. girl unscrewed
16. slow rehabilitation
17. twenty-three stories
18. a far-off point
19. fifteen years quiet
20. a one-beer fella
21. luminescence
22. one-sided conversation
23. hearts big and stupid
24. nineteen seventy-eight
25. first light
26. a hundred years
27. too long to stop now
28. plainswept
29. a widower in training
30. spies and assets
31. thirty years and then some
32. leaping over couches
33. cricket song
34. eleanor's first kiss
35. like so much ballast
36. too much
37. the longest wait
38. the second ice storm
39. rocket summer
40. waiting
41. wax wings
42. breakup
43. tough beans

best of ds

welcome to sxsw
the last omelette
summer of '69
firewalker with me
lady beware
how to drink wine
fish waffle beanbags
smells like granny fanny
simple request
student of okinawan history
operation dinner out
straight on til morning
billions and ... eh, whatever
sight
on the subject of overtime
permafrosted
this morning on the way
three days later
rally, monkey
growing shames
small moves, captain
bored beyond belief
so well, so strong, so slow
that was a good day
amazing stories
cracked your code
varieties of experience
hate it when she does that
most likely to wear tights
should've been a cowboy
mean old men
and scene
time-traveling head-puncher
what're the odds?
big k days
this base will explod
no place like
50/100/buh-bye
further baseball conversations
longest last rites ever
watch the skies
who needs sleep
rogue agent
red shag carpet and iced tea
fuck you, murphy
slow drift
pyro, singular possessive
decomposition
wide-eyed wonder
october morning
national pasttime
wordplay
movie buff extraordinaire
an approximate transcript
i wonder if neil simon had a cat
teach my feet to fly
unexplored
old girlfriend

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of peripheral interest

The Eleanor Sketches
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Manual
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DS on Archive.org
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what i do

I've been a web designer since 1998. In the ensuing ten years I have worked in that capacity for an arctic ISP, a small-market advertising agency, a boutique design firm, a nefarious taskmaster, an obsolete-but-oblivious development shop, and myself. At present I'm an art director for Web Associates, an interactive agency in San Luis Obispo, California, where I have worked since 2006. Here are some of the projects that I have worked on during that time.

recent projects

HP Upline
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Freelance work
the shallow end

Turns out we're not done exploring after all. We're going to the Sun. // Cassini discovers organic material on Enceladus. // Word on the street is that Dubai is nuts. // You'd think that a video like this would be awe-inspiring all on its own. Tell that to whoever added the stock wonderment musical score. // American passenger jets now being outfitted with anti-missile devices. "Officials emphasize that no missiles will be test-fired at the planes." // Does atheism equal irresponsible parenting? State of New Jersey challenges adoptive parents' right to their adopted child due to their (lack of) religious belief. // Unbelievable single-car accident. // Insomnia, begone. // Fairly predictable and run-of-the-mill promo for Kathleen's upcoming album, but hey, you take what you can get.
Copyright Jason Gurley. Simplicity is sexy.